margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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