well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You ruined the universe
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
