I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
