You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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