Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
