You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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