You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
