You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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