just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
