You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
