I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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