Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Randomize
