he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it because I queefed?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
