Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
