it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
