You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
