I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Watching her eat just hurts me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
