Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
