is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
