Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
