he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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