She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
