you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
