I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
