Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
