god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
