I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
