When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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