I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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