Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
