she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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