Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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