Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
