were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
