forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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