Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
