sorry about calling you the devil all night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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