I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
