I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
