if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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