i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
