I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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