i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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