All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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