I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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