Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
