So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
