Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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