You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize