She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
even my farts smell like vagina
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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